what the..

2003-10-19T20:48:00.000-07:00

I have to call Doc's office tomorrow to get my new Ritalin perscription. I've had myself a little "medication holiday" this weekend. It was quite fun actually. I didn't have to be anywheres or talk to impressionable strangers, so I was able to run around being silly and burning off all this hyperness. I'm on the highest dosage of Rids, thats 60 mg a day. I might actually get it lowered down to 50 mg a day, because being on this holiday has made me realize how much more sedated I was on it. However, it's really no good for me to be off it. I can't do much of anything useful, except provide power for those without electricity by riding a bike hooked up to a generator. That was a lovely little joke courtesy of my Dad by the way.

Well, I can't keep doing this, I can't write scentences properly, and it's getting frustrating. So hopefully tomorrow I'll have some meds. There's people with ADD who prefer to be off of it, but mines so strong that I can't really function as a social human being without it. So off I go, and I'm gonna try and get to bed.

2003-10-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

You know, what they say is true. Girls never ARE happy when it comes to relationships. Something tells me that us girls aren't the only ones who get pissed off by this sort of thing, which I'm getting to right now.

I think I really DID get off scotch-free with the "Sebastian" thing (knock-on-wood), and I'm very glad about this. And yet, there is something so FRUSTRATING about him just signing off of that last phone call on Wednesday and not calling back or anything since. I mean, he was so frikkin excited about the whole relationship. And then the next thing I know, he says he's got to go, and he doesn't call back. I had felt bad about being crabby, even though I really was feeling like shit and scared about getting myself into a relationship I wasn't ready for, so I had left a message on his phone saying I was sorry I might have been a bit crabby. I can swallow my pride, no problem.
Another part of me, that was lurking in the back of my mind all along, is thinking that this just proves what I always feared from Day One: he was looking for a good way to settle into the country.
Oh man, I know that sounds really really bigoted. I'm not that type of person. But you'd think he'd have responded to my message, because I was sincere, and I had told him I wanted to see him later in the week.
I really was being a bit shallow when I decided I wanted to be with him. I can pinpoint the exact thing that makes me feel a tinge of nostalgia for the short-lived days of our relationship:

he was one sexy Libyan.

2003-10-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

HOLY COW what a miserable day. Well, its been really pleasant, actually. I was talking about the weather there. It's grey and its wet. Actually, I'm surprised that Halifax doesn't get this type of weather more often, being a maritime city and all.
Anyways, its not the type of weather ya mom would send you out to when your coughing all over the place. At this point in my life, I don't think my mom would've said anything if I stepped out the door today stark naked!

Last night I stayed up just looking around B3ta. Canada wouldn't have anything like B3ta. The British are experts on silliness.

Well, I've been doing really nothing today, except search around Lileks.com at his collection of pictures of old buildings that have been long demolished. The fall of buildings is always a really sad thing for me, its one of those things I can't quite put my finger on. Like how robots make me cry.

Lileks.com also has a hilarious tour of The Gobbler, a hotel that was the definition of 70s kitcsh (sp?). That has turned out to be recently demolished as well. When I saw the pictures of that crazy place in ruins, a tear actually came to my eye. It's funny, I've always had this weird interest in buildings, but when I was a kid I always hated the older buildings from the 50s, 60s and 70s (buildings older than that still creep me out). Now, when I see them demolishing some 30-or so-year old building, I get this total disdane for everything modern. I mean, even though I wasn't born till the 80s, the 70s don't seem old enough to justify tearing down a building. They seem too similar to the buildings built in my generation. What really scares me is to think that if people are starting to tear down buildings from as late as the 70s, it won't be long until the buildings I considered to be the newest thing get turned into a pile of stinking rubble. How sad is that??

Anyways, I'm not calling "Sebastian" and he still hasn't called me. Knock-on-wood, but it is better than being stalked.

2003-10-17T17:37:00.000-07:00

okay, last one, i promissss

"It's Tricky" (by Run DMC)
It's Tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that's
right on time
It's Tricky...it's Tricky (Tricky) Tricky (Tricky)
It's Tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that's
right on time
It's Tricky...Tr tr tr tricky (Tricky)
Trrrrrrrrrrricky

Which 80's Song Fits You?
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2003-10-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

My inner child is sixteen years old!

Life's not fair! It's never been fair, but while
adults might just accept that, I know
something's gotta change. And it's gonna
change, just as soon as I become an adult and
get some power of my own.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
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Congratulations!! You're a shot of some good old
hard liquor!

What Drink Are You?
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2003-10-17T17:25:00.000-07:00

Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.

What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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2003-10-17T17:08:00.000-07:00

oh by the way, I think I turned off "Sebastian" when I refused to answer his question about what he thought we'd be doing in 3 years time, such as the house, the baby, and all the stuff I'm scared of, after only 2 weeks of dating.

HAHAHAHAhahahahahahahhahahahahaha...............ha...

hum

2003-10-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

OK, well I decided to get rid of the city template, it made the writing too squished-up. Not that anyone actually reads this peice of junk, but whatever.
Dearie me, I simply CANNOT spend too much time writing in here tonight. I would if i could, I've come down with the flu and have nothing better to do, buutttt....

I DONT HAVE MY RITTTTALLLINNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

STUPID STUPID MOTHERFUCKING BLOODY PROVINCIAL CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE LAWS THAT FUCKING FUCKED ME UP!! WHY DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU THE PERSCRIPTION PAPERS WITHIN SEVEN DAYS?? WHY DO YOU FUCKING CARE!!!

they best not complain about my FUCKING IMPULSIVE BITCHING AND VIOLENT BEHAVIOR if they go refusing me my ADD meds.

bastards..

2003-10-15T21:04:00.000-07:00

ahh what a kool skin. the city lights thing is appropriate because now there is POWER hehehe yeshh yes yes

2003-10-15T20:00:00.000-07:00

So I'm back on this again. I should be getting to bed pretty soon, but whatever. I have a big-ass test tomorrow tomorrow in accounting. That class has been a breeze so far, but then I did take an accounting course last year. If it wasn't for that, I'd be freaking out with the rest of the class. Accounting follows logical steps, and so it has to be taught in logical steps. But the teacher is all over place, if I had no accounting experience I know I'd be ripping my hair out now.
ANYWAYS lets not talk about boring shit like accounting.
LETS talk about "Sebastian". He bought me a $60 bottle of wine last night (he was drunk). How nice is that?? I was feeling like shit today, so I was mean to him on the phone. Well, not mean, just not in a way that said "I am happy to hear from you!". Well, in truth, I wasn't. I felt like shit. I know I'm coming down with something when I start tripping over my feet and face aches all day. Well, he wasn't feeling too well today either. Thats what he told me anyways. I can't always tell if he really means what he says, cus his english is broken. Anyways, he might have wanted to take the day off to see me, having bought the bottle of wine and all. And me, being too self-absorbed in my own problems, didn't even take that into consideration. Well, I did feel like shit. And there was a scary storm starting up, the wind almost blew me off the sidewalk. And when I start to get a cold I turn into a bloody recluse. Ok, thats enough excuses now.
I suppose I don't want to look TOO available, right? And today I really wasn't in the position to drink an entire bottle of wine (Sebastian bought himself a bottle of whiskey lol), seeing as I have this giant test tomorrow. So, no booze pour moi.
I'm learning french by the way. I'm using this computer program my dad bought me when I was in Grade 9. So far, I'm doing pretty good. Choisis-tu le poisson? Non, le chat choisit le poisson. lol
Oh, that Saturday night that I wrote my last blog in, I actually went over to my grandmas for a hot bath, a warm bed, and TEEVEE!! yay and woo for nannies all over the world
We got our power back last Thursday (a grand total of TEN DAYS without electricity). Mom made me chat up an electrical guy working on South Park street, and it actually worked. I didn't flirt with him or anything, he was old. I just asked him sweetly if he thought he might be able to stop by our place, its been 10 days, etc etc. And whaddaya know, it worked.
I went to The Palace late Sunday night with Sebastian. Going clubbing with your "boyfriend" (I can't think of any other word to use for our relationship) is a little weird. We still got plastered, and had an awesome time. I got soaked in the rain though, and my hair went all curly. However, that didn't stop the wild animal sex that ensued haha.

God, theres enough perverted shit out there on the internet that I really shouldn't be adding on to the stank pile.
For example, I typed "Chili dog" into google the other day (cus I wanted to know how to make one - no lie) and I got some link to a pet-sex website... vom!

2003-10-04T14:06:00.000-07:00

Well I started this up cus I'm waiting for my friend to come online and I'm bored. See, it's Saturday night, I want to go out, but having just moved here a month ago, I don't know many people. I don't want to call her up and be like "I'm all on my lonesome...can I tag along?" and sound like a total mong. I don't know whats the difference between asking her online and on the phone, but I think I can maneuver my words a bit more subtly if I have time to think it out before I type see.
I don't want to use people's real names. So I'm going to use fake names. Here we go.. So Diana had tried to hook me up with Pierre, and Pierre was my connection to other friends. But I didn't feel any vibe between him and I. I don't think he really liked me all that much anyways. It's either that or he's shy. Last month I was sleeping over at his place. Well we all went out at night, and I needed to sleep over, and I needed somewhere else to sleep other than the floor. I thought I might like him, I wasn't sure. So we kissed and stuff, even though most of the time we were so stoned we just fell asleep. The last time I saw him he tried getting into my pants and I didn't let him. I wouldn't ever let someone who I wasn't sure I was really into. And then he just fell asleep. I think the stoned thing was a big problem. I'd rather just be friends.
Well now I have a guy. Lets call him Sebastian. Sebastian is hot, and he's from Libya, and he's um 30. So theres an 11 year difference. Sucky thing is, he has to work on friday and saturday nights at the pizza parlour. But I'm sure Diana told Pierre that I met this guy and now it would be awkward to go to Pierres place (where, unfortunatley, everyone goes to hang out). Last weekend I felt too sick in the stomach to go out, and I was invited to a rave :( its not fair.
I wouldn't mind staying in the house so much if we had power. I've plugged my laptop into the powerbar we got from the neighbors. Fucking hurricane. It's been six fucking days since the power went out. The lazy-ass city electric people told us they'd be here to plug our power back in and then they canceled on us again. The bastards. My back-up plan was to get a drive to my grandma's and get a warm bath and some warm food and some tv. But my parents were pissed off at the world and were just like "Your probably going out tonight, so you can take care of yourself". Well yeah I go out every weekend and stay out all night and get drunk. But this one weekend, when the power is out and theres nothing to do at home and I got my hair highlights in and I look fucking hot...I might not be going out.
I DON'T WANT TO STAY IN TONIGHT!! I WANT TO GET DRUNK AT THE PUBS OR SOMETHING.
I'm' turning into a goddam alchoholic.
Ok well I don't know what I"m going to do now. I'm talking to my friend who lives outside of London. He lives in one of the most exciting places in the world, and he's staying in tonight. So I don't feel so bad now. Sort of... *sob*